birthday gift

How I died when i saw his gift. At first I was thrilled at the sound of someone actually making an MTV just for me. But when I saw the 2nd scene... tears rolled down my cheeks and I sobbed hysterically... it continued as I watched the whole thing.

Why? Why her? Why is there no part of me.. or even a picture of me in that MTV. For whom is that MTV anyway? For me or for her? And considering the song, which is I Miss You by Incubus I think?-- who is he really missing? me or her? x_x crap. excuse me for being emo-- whatever you think I am now.. but hey, it really offended me..

At the same time, it made me think about what happened to us these past few days..

I don't wanna mention the whole detail here, but then he made it clear that I'm still a stranger to him despite the advices, the help I gave him for almost 3 years we've been good friends. That he'd forgotten my existence.. or must have been treating me like someone else when we're chatting in YMessenger. @_@ Like what he requested if he could make it in LU Live... It feels like he wants to do that to her, and he's just channeling his feelings for me. It really SUCKS!

If ever that happens, or if ever he tries to make a close contact to me, its as if my whole body would move automatically and avoid him. I hate it. Seriously.

I swear I could have cried if we watched his gift to me together here in Manila. We could have even had a quarrel if that happened. But then good thing it wasn't like that. My sarcasm last night wasn't even noticed. See how insensitive he is?  But I'm quite sure.. my ego is already tired of this.. we haven't mentioning to him what we actually feel towards the situations happening around us. All we did was listen to his rants.. comment a little but hell we don't even care that much. Its like a man growing tired of his habit. I might really disappear after this.. disappear from his side.. without him knowing it.. or even disappear to everyone as well in shame.


Dexter64 said...

Wag mo na kasi lokohin sarili mo ate XD post post ka pa nga sa FB page nya ng "thank you niichan" with matching hug pa XD yet deep inside you're crying XP

melancholicdreamer said...

^magpapakatotoo na ako. me narealize din ako kagabi habang pauwi ako.. @_@ ........ mukha lang tlg akong tanga sa kanya.