I don't know how to start this but I was checking out my blog awhile ago for comments about my artworks when I came across to one of my emotional posts and my tracker to check out who's passing by this blog of mine.

I saw his comment. Yes... His. I cried when I read it the 2nd time-- yeah.. I had to read it again to make it sink on my head... but I never felt any pain anymore. Its just that numb.

We parted ways already. Though sometimes I still felt like searching for him whenever something goes wrong. I don't. I end up shutting up my mouth-- stopping my hands from sending out lame ranty gms in my cellphone and keeping everything to myself. I am old enough now. Its time for me to take a stand of my own and stop depending on him...

I think its just right that I finally let him go... or was it?

Hell yeah, everything concerned with my ex ended already, yesterday night. And now, let's make those creative juices flowing coz we're starting up this short animation for pRO (my chosen project) in my 2DAnim1 class in DLS-CSB.


Meet Heather Damon (she's supposedly the sister of Cecil Damon-- I just made it up lol. I wanna continue the story though). And yup, just like her elderly sister, she's a priestess in training and aims to meet her sister in BIO labs someday-- face to face.


And so, here's my Character Design and Body Turn.:


Character Design:

Cause, I do not want my drawings to make people sad. I draw because I wanna cheer people up. If I have to draw something sad.. That would be only for me.. Because I have to somehow let out the negative feelings welling up on me. Let my artworks be other's light...

"Once you get in it, people will take advantage of it and kill you right away"


Honestly I'm no pvp person.. but a friend told me that there would be an upcoming 'friendly' match this siege on Saturday between my guild and theirs... I got worked up and suddenly went practicing in the pvp even if I'm just a level 74 (trapper type) sniper.


I haven't been leveling up these days.. I was broke due to finals and other stuffs I'm busy at. Other things I now prioritize than playing Ragnarok Online. I needed to catch up on my drawing and coloring skills as well. But then.. sometimes.. I feel left out in the game... even during RO talks in guild eb's. I read stuff but not all. I know stuff but not everything about RO. Sometimes I feel useless in the game. Sometimes, I just use the thought "at least you get to help your guild during WOEs by setting up traps" to keep me in the game. But for me.. how am I supposed to.. last if I kept feeling this way?


This isn't my first time. It happened a lot of times.. and sometimes I end up going inactive or almost on the verge of quitting if it weren't only for my friends... especially our guild master who coaxes me.


And sometimes I forget his advices.. those advices that gave me hopes back then. 


Why am I feeling this way.

It sure did shock everyone when we learned that our guild mate and friend, Paul, had to undergo a brain surgery yesterday. At first I thought it was just a joke.. but then when I reached home and confirmed from our guild's HC... I got scared. This wasn't my first time... yet it scares me. I've seen my mom, and my aunts undergo an ordeal like that.. surgery I mean... and I really hated it to the core.. seeing them like that.. helpless after the procedure... crumbling to the after effects of it. And now.. with my friend who had 3 seizures last night.. who wouldn't be scared of it?

It sure did shock everyone when we learned that our guild mate and friend, Paul, had to undergo a brain surgery yesterday. At first I thought it was just a joke.. but then when I reached home and confirmed from our guild's HC... I got scared. This wasn't my first time... yet it scares me. I've seen my mom, and my aunts undergo an ordeal like that.. surgery I mean... and I really hated it to the core.. seeing them like that.. helpless after the procedure... crumbling to the after effects of it. And now.. with my friend who had 3 seizures last night.. who wouldn't be scared of it?

It was a good thing our guild's nurse, Kuya Honou was there with him along with Kuya Neil. Though as Kuya Neil told me, it was a terrifying sight seeing Paul like that... but then.. they had to be strong enough for him since they are with him. 'The 3rd seizure was really the scary one', he shares, 'Paul did know that its coming, but then it took 3 minutes-- the 3rd one. Honou said that if a seizure lasts longer than 1 minute, your brain gets deprived of oxygen'.

As of now, he's stable but still under observation.. and the guild's already planning to schedule for a visit to Paul. Some will be camping out in his room to watch over him throughout the night... though everyone's kinda scared he'd be on a seizure attack again but then we're praying (and storming the heavens right now) for his fast recovery and that no complications would happen.

To Paul:
We hope for your fast recovery and that you'd be safe til then coz we're looking forward for more years being with you and you joining us in seiges, everyday adventures, conventions and LU Live :D God bless the imbalanced pally of the guild :P

Update!!! It's been a long while since LU Live 09. And now... gearing up for the next event is the much awaited (event) of the month! The guild christmas party!! (of course... its a must! )

 RB Xmas Party 

When: Dec 21, 2009
Time: TBA
Where: Caj's residence or Nix's residence

 Exchange Gift:
minimum of 100php (gift wrapper not included in the price) 
NO IG item or LU card for xchange gifts

 Food:
[please contact Nix for food bringer updates]

List of food bringers:
*Ices = Softdrinks and Other beverages
*Nix = Carbonara (not yet confirmed pero will try to make it happen)
*Erin L.= Donuts (or if possible, she'll bring roasted chicken)

 Games and Activities:
So far we haven't decided on what games to play (but we're hinting Midgard Henyo again  Suggestions are freely accepted. Also, EVERYONE...(and yes we mean it)is REQUIRED to sing in the Magic Sing (which will be provided for us)

 Guild Prize will be inserted on Dec. 16

-----------------------------------------
 List of Members who are confirmed and not yet confirmed to come in the Christmas Party 

 Confirmed:

*Dex
*Neil
*Nix
*Nars
*Erin
*Tohru
*Raduan (miike27k c/o rad)
*Ices
*Paul (maku and domeks c/o paul)
*Mark
*Chaud (<-- you definitely must go!.. vin c/o chaud)
*Caj
*Ralph
*Rein
*Renja

 Not Yet Sure:

*Swakie
*Signus
*Konaz
*Chan
*Rie
*Rya
*Len
*Ian
*Joms
*Nicole
*Monzi
*ETC (too many to mention 

so what are you waiting for? confirm now if you're coming or not! 

Tight schedules, christmas parties here and there, choir practices, never ending projects and plates and my irrational side... they all keep me from posting worthy-to-read stuff here. I don't know. Recently.. I've been writing some blog posts here.. but I never had the guts to publish them. Maybe a part of me wants to stop letting everyone I feel about the things happening to me anymore.. maybe... just maybe..

Anyways.. December was really nice. Especially in my school. The positive and warm feeling I'm getting right now helps me a lot on my course... especially on my subjects. I am pretty much inspired to do a lot of artworks right now. Its like inspirations are overflowing everywhere XD. I do hope in the next days I'll be able to channel this out in the right way. :)