the way of the PVP room

"Once you get in it, people will take advantage of it and kill you right away"

Honestly I'm no pvp person.. but a friend told me that there would be an upcoming 'friendly' match this siege on Saturday between my guild and theirs... I got worked up and suddenly went practicing in the pvp even if I'm just a level 74 (trapper type) sniper.

I haven't been leveling up these days.. I was broke due to finals and other stuffs I'm busy at. Other things I now prioritize than playing Ragnarok Online. I needed to catch up on my drawing and coloring skills as well. But then.. sometimes.. I feel left out in the game... even during RO talks in guild eb's. I read stuff but not all. I know stuff but not everything about RO. Sometimes I feel useless in the game. Sometimes, I just use the thought "at least you get to help your guild during WOEs by setting up traps" to keep me in the game. But for me.. how am I supposed to.. last if I kept feeling this way?

This isn't my first time. It happened a lot of times.. and sometimes I end up going inactive or almost on the verge of quitting if it weren't only for my friends... especially our guild master who coaxes me.

And sometimes I forget his advices.. those advices that gave me hopes back then. 

Why am I feeling this way.